5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Being an Autistic Adult

As someone navigating life as a 24yo autistic adult, there are so many things I've had to learn through trial and error. While every autistic person's experience is unique, here are five crucial insights I wish someone had shared with me earlier.

1. Your Executive Functioning Will Have Good Days and Bad Days – And That's OK

One of the most frustrating things I've learned about being an autistic adult (and what I thought I would grow into) is how variable my executive functioning can be still. Some days, I'm a productivity powerhouse, tackling my to-do list with laser focus. Other days, deciding what to eat for breakfast (or even waking up early enough for breakfast) feels like solving a complex puzzle.

I wish someone had told me earlier that this inconsistency is normal. Instead of beating myself up about it, I've learned to build flexibility into my systems. I keep frozen gluten free pizzas in the freezer for days when meal planning is overwhelming, and cereal for dinner is fine. I maintain a "bare minimum" task list for when executive functioning is low, and a "Revved Up!" list for when I'm firing on all cylinders.

Understanding this variability has been liberating. It's not that I'm unreliable or lazy – my brain just operates on its own unique rhythm.

2. Time Isn't Linear When You're Autistic - Time Blindness

I spent years trying to force myself into neurotypical time management systems before realizing that my perception of time is fundamentally different. Time isn't a steady stream for me – it's more like a quantum phenomenon, expanding and contracting based on my level of engagement.

When I'm deeply focused on a task I enjoy, hours can feel like minutes. Conversely, a 15-minute meeting can feel like an eternity when I'm processing multiple social cues and sensory inputs. I wish someone had explained that this isn't a character flaw, but rather a different way of experiencing time.

Now, I use time blocking differently than most productivity gurus suggest. I build in substantial buffers, set multiple alerts/alarms, and use visual timers to help bridge the gap between my time perception and the clock on the wall.

3. Your Energy Bank Account Works Differently

Think of your daily energy like a bank account. While neurotypical people might have a fairly consistent daily balance with predictable withdrawals and deposits, autistic adults often deal with a more volatile energy economy.

I wish I'd understood earlier that activities neurotypical people find energizing (like casual social gatherings) might be overwhelmingly draining for me, while activities others find tedious (like organizing data) might actually rev up my energy. This isn't wrong – it's just different.

Learning to honor my unique energy economy has been game-changing. I now schedule my days around my energy patterns rather than trying to conform to conventional wisdom about productivity. Sometimes this means doing detailed work when I'm freshest in the morning, rather than saving it for later as many productivity experts suggest.

4. Your Need for Systems Isn't a Weakness

For years, I felt embarrassed about how many systems and reminders I needed to manage daily life. While others seemed to naturally remember to eat, drink water, or take breaks, I needed explicit systems for these basic functions.

I wish someone had told me that needing these systems isn't a character flaw – it's actually a strength to recognize and accommodate your needs. Now I proudly maintain my systems:

• Timer reminders to check in with my body's needs

• Detailed checklists for routine tasks

• Environmental cues to prompt regular activities

• Digital tools to externalize my memory

• Leveraging my family's help when needed

  
  

These systems aren't crutches, and nothing to be embarrassed about; they're sophisticated tools that help me function at my best. Just as I might wear glasses to see clearly, I use systems to navigate daily life effectively.

5. Finding Your Autistic Joy Is Revolutionary

Perhaps the most important thing I wish I'd known earlier is that being autistic isn't just about challenges and accommodations – it's also about discovering and embracing unique sources of joy.

The way my brain hyperfocuses on interests isn't a problem to fix; it's a superpower that brings depth and richness to my life. My pattern recognition abilities aren't just about getting overwhelmed by details; they're about seeing connections others might miss. My need for routine isn't rigid thinking; it's a way to create a foundation that allows me to thrive.

Learning to celebrate these aspects of my neurodivergent brain, rather than trying to mask or overcome them, has been transformative. It's not just about surviving as an autistic adult – it's about finding ways to genuinely thrive.

Moving Forward

These insights haven't just helped me understand myself better; they've helped me create a life that works with my autistic brain rather than against it. If you're an autistic adult, I hope these reflections resonate with you or at least help you feel less alone. If you love someone who's autistic, I hope this offers a window into our experience.

Remember, autism doesn't end with childhood – we're out here living full adult lives, and the more we understand and accept our unique ways of being, the better we can thrive.

By Jack Long

Software Engineer @Adeptexec